Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
