Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
