My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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