So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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