ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
