dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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