Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
