I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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