Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
home. puking in laundry basket.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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