I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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