5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
