he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
