it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
