Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
