I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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