so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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