you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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