Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
