My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
