and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
