Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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