WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
