I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
