my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
