Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
