No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
