problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
