I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
