under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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