we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
