I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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