Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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