I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
