You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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