saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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