Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i out mim tonsoeep
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