So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
