I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
