I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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