Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
