The maid of honor just puked.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
