last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
