Your dad touched me again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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