did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
