If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
