We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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