I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
