My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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