he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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