You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you win again, gameday.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
