i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
