dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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