How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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