Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
