were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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