boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
