I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
